Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize