Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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