Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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