So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
