i just had sex bonerless
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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