What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
