remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
