More tranny stories later!
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
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