Kiss
Puke
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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