White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize