Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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