Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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