This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
