I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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