found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
