I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
