This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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