Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
