The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
