I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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