There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i want to swaddle you in tequila
i drank out of a bidet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize