I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
