xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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