How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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