That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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