My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
