I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
