I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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