I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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