Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
