You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
