Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
