Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
