Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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