If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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