in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
