walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Randomize
