this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
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