WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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