My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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