apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
why is half of my head shaved?
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