I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
