watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
