I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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