I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
