3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
