Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
