we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
where does the pee come out of this thing
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Mom said you looked used
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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