I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I said "one day" and that day is not today
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
