nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize