he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
