so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
