Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
