Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
my sisters under your porch take her home
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
