All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
