JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
