jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
why is half of my head shaved?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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