went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
