I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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