just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
